Norio's Bedroom
by daffodils-for-thrills
Summary: Named after Chapter 46 of the manga, except for the fact that I've left out "Koga," it's the literal and figurative essences of "bedroom" in regards to the situation of Norio's life and the mode of Norio's death.
1. Norio's Bedroom: Part 1

**This is a tribute to Norio Koga; a character who deserves much attention, I think, in the fabulous manga called Shadow Star Narutaru. **

**I'm not much for writing fanfiction because they're essentially semi-original stories that use other people's characters. I'd rather write my OWN original story with my OWN original characters. Making up characters is half the fun of writing. **

**There are times, however, that I really like a character I see in an anime or manga. Usually, though, I just take their essence and change their name to make them mine and write my own original story, pretending it's not a fanfiction, even though it essentially IS... In THIS case, however, I won't. I didn't. Both the character and story were so perfect already. I'm a bit envious, but I know that I never would have come up with this character to start with. It doesn't cross my mind to use things like hermaphroditic, androgynous, or homosexual characters when I'm writing, so I can't be too jealous; I never would have come up with this story if left to my own. I do, however, thoroughly admire it and want to write SOMETHING about it. A tribute's just as good as coming up with it on my own, to my mind. It's nearly the same, but a little different take. **

**So this is Norio's life and death; a BEAUTIFUL, POWERFUL, PAINFUL life and death. If he were a girl, then what happens, I think, just wouldn't be the same... Even if he were a girl that had some sort of fertility problem. The fact that he's a guy is what I think makes it so powerful. We, as human beings, are attracted to certain things, intrigued by certain things, fascinated by certain things. I think that one of these certain things is immorality. We know it's bad, we know it's wrong, and so it has an appeal. It has an appeal because it's so distasteful, because it's against society. **

**Me myself, thinking of Norio...he's such an amazing and brilliant character. If you've ever read the manga, then in Chapter 46 when he visits one of Tsurumaru's many girlfriends, you can kind of feel the pain and feel the resentment when he sees her with her baby. I don't think he's necessarily "gay;" I just think he's a girl trapped in a body that LOOKS like a girl's, but really ISN'T… I don't think he really wants to have a relationship with Tsurumaru other than the one they have right now, one of deep friendship. If he were a girl, he would wish so. But he knows he's not, and so he accepts his situation as it is. I think he has a tragic death that really DOES go deep. Cutting off his earring, slashing his "Achille's heel," naming his shadow dragon "Vagina Dentata," which was told of in some folk tales to "discourage the act of rape," and even the failed soul transfer at the end that comes out as a baby, which I think was his wish... It's all so brilliant. When I first read it, I was really amazed that he was letting that happen while protecting Tsurumaru. I couldn't believe it at first. Like, "What the HECK! You're gonna let them DO that to you...? TRY TO ESCAPE! TRY TO GET AWAY! WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE DOOIINNGG!?" But then, I realized the beauty of his friendship and his love that he feels for Tsurumaru. **

**I have a lot of respect for Mohiro Kitoh, the mangaka of this manga. If you haven't read this manga, I recommend it wholeheartedly. It's the best manga I've ever read, and perhaps the best THING that I've ever read. It's just that powerful, and really makes you think. Don't read it if you're faint of heart; you gotta be somewhat tough. But read it. It'll change your life in SOME way, whether minimal or not. I cried from Norio's death to the end, and then I cried at the end. Then I thought about it a little, and then I cried some more. I've never cried so much after reading something before. You don't think it'll be like that because it starts out with a 12-year-old girl and a cute little star thing, of course. But gradually, she loses her innocence as the people around her show THEIR lack of innocence, and all of the people dear to her she loses in the end. It's really sad, but sadness is another certain thing that attracts us, I believe. And in its very sadness, it is beautiful; the LAST thing that I think is what attracts us. **

**Sorry for the rambling; and if you read this, thanks.**

**Enjoy.**

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Part I

I look like a girl, but I'm really a boy—

And so I can never take part in the joy

That women have of being wife,

That women have creating life.

I wear an earring in each ear;

You couldn't tell, unless you're near

Enough to touch my very chest,

That I don't have a woman's breast—

Which you would need

To child feed—

And that I'm not a girl.

My hair is straight—no curl,

And it is very long.

My muscles are not strong,

And I am very thin.

It's pale and soft—my skin.

My legs and face both have no hair,

And what I tend to always wear

Is nevertheless—

Though not skirt or dress—

Of a girl expected,

Although I've been rejected

By either sex, 'cause I'm between;

Society is mean.

I, even so, collaborate

With he whom I can tolerate;

We both live here,

This warehouse dear—

The edge of town;

It's brown.

People do I truly hate,

But him I can appreciate

Because he doesn't of me speak

As if I am some sort of freak,

And that I am some sort of queer

Is something that he doesn't fear.

He, himself, is something new,

For what it is his goal to do:

He wants to plant as many seeds

As he is able—so he _breeds_.

So far, he has a quarter score,

But he still hopes for many more.

I, myself, of this don't care;

I, myself, can't child bear.

Even so, it bothers me,

'Cause stupid girls I hate to see—

And there is _also _one, it's true,

Who wonders what I plan to do—

If I will with him always stay,

Although it surely _hurts _this way.

She is nothing like me, though;

She had his kid not long ago.

That is something I can't do,

And neither can I bid ado.

So even if they come and go—

And they might have his _kid_, I know—

I try to but ignore they're here,

Although I may just shed a tear.

None, however, has he kept,

After, with them, he has _slept_,

So _I _have been with him the longer,

Though their bond with him was stronger.

Lately, though, I fear the worst—

It seems with love he has been cursed.

Not just interest, not just lust—

Something _deeper_ I don't trust.

Will it tear him, now, from me…?

I guess I have to wait and see…


	2. Norio's Bedroom: Part 2

Part 2 

It's just as I have _feared_ it'd be—

He's being pulled away from me.

There's nothing I can really do;

I've never seen his love so true…

He asks me, now, to help him out—

I often hear him give the shout:

"_Help_ her, _PLEASE_—because I _can't_!"

To him I'm good, and this I grant.

I can't say that I _like _it, though…

(And this I wouldn't let him _know_,

But why should _I_ become concerned,

When _she _is why his _back_ has turned…?)

I help her _any_way—for _him_,

Though when I help her, I am grim.

With my dragon, her I find—

Control the dragon through my mind,

And with it fight the other one

Until it's clear that I have won.

They are always to me grateful.

Still, to _her_, I'm always hateful.

_He's_ the only reason why

I help her—'cause he'd probably die

If something happened, and it's true

That _I_ would probably die then, too.

What I like the most of it

Is that I can just right here sit

And see the fight from far away

While I but in the warehouse stay.

What's that knock upon the door…?

—I'm falling now onto the floor!

A sword unsheathes before my eyes;

I stare at it in stunned surprise.

The men who've come ask where he is;

I tell them he's gone out on biz.

They slice the sword right through my ear—

The earring falls; I gasp in fear.

In ancient China, long ago,

They didn't want the gods to know

Their child was a little boy,

Because the gods do not like joy—

And joy it was to have a son—

And so a practice was begun

To put an earring in his ear—

'Cause of the gods, they had much fear,

And thought that they would knock him dead—

To make him seem a girl instead.

I am like this, in a way,

But now the earring brought betray—

Because it falls, now, to the floor,

And now I am a girl no more.

Coming closer, this they find,

But what's already in their mind

They plan to still do _any_way—

The order comes as: "Call the gay."

I aim to be away and free,

But that won't come so easily—

'Cause when I run, they slice my heel,

And I fall down, and I pain feel.

I've heard the story of a man

Subjected to his mother's plan

To be than everyone more strong,

Although his strength not lasted long.

In his heel his weakness was;

It brought about his end because.

Right now, they slash me in the heel—

Right now, my end is _close_, I feel.

My fault is not a spot that's bare—

My fault is I can't child bear;

My fault is that I am a "Sir;"

My fault is that I would prefer

To be a girl, instead, _completed_—

Mind, and _body_—and be treated

_Like _a girl by _every_one.

Now, it seems, this will be _done_;

Here comes a man.

I think his _plan_—


	3. Norio's Bedroom: Part 3

**Come to think of it, I didn't intend for this to be three parts long or contain the elements of Chaucer's prologues. So if any of you caught that it could be seen as a Christ figure motif, I didn't mean for that to happen. Yeah, 3 parts; 3 days. And yeah, he's dying to save someone else. But I DON'T see him as a Christ figure; only as a tragic hero. And I DO have physical appearance, personality, and fatal flaw in here, but I wasn't following Chaucer's formula on PURPOSE; I just like to rhyme, and all of that was essential to the story.**

**Continue reading!**

**Enjoy.**

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Part 3

He's gonna have his _way _with me;

And in his lusty eyes, I see

He thinks I'm cute—but I don't _care_

If someone likes me like this _bear_!

I only care about my friend

I must protect until the end,

And so I will continue to

No matter what this bear will do.

If I am fast, then I should be

Able to _myself_, too, free.

I'll just disarm a few more planes—

I watch them crash; the ash down rains.

As long as just my _mind _is clear,

Then there is nothing I should fear.

But time's the essence; there's a _lot_—

Yes, there are more than I first _thought_…

If I could bring it back right _now_—

But then my friend I might allow

To be in _danger_—he might _die_!

—He thought on me he could _rely_!

I _mustn't_ let him down at all;

Although my chances may be small

To stop the planes, and then _return_,

The tables _might _just, _MIGHT _just _TURN_!

But—oh! But—_oh_! But—OH! But—_OH!_

—I'm just not sure how it will _go_!

He's coming _closer_; he's—_he's_—_GAH!_

—And I'm not _sure_ if—ah—_ah_—_AH!_

If _I _could—_call_—my _dra_gon—_back_—

I _could_—this _twi_sted—_freak_—a_ttack_—

My _dra_gon—_Va_gi_na_ Ven_tAH_ta—

_But _I—_him_—pro_tect_—I _GOT_ta!

_I_ could—_use_ it—_to_—es_cape_—

And _to_—dis_cou_rage—_act_ of—_RAPE!!!!!_

But _if_—I _did_—then _he_ might—_MIGHT_—

And _so_—I _have_—to _fight_—fight—_FIGHT!_

Oh, _WHY'S _it—_got_ta—_be_—be _ME?_

My _fu_ture, _I _can't—_I _can't—_SEE!_

He _wants_—me _to_—cry _OUT_, I _know_—

But _I_—I _won't_—I _WON'T_, and _SO_—

He tries—he _tries_—a _dif_ferent—_WAY!_

I can't—I _can't_—I _CAN'T _o_BEY!_

And_ I _can't—_let _him—_see_ me—_BREAK!_

I _have _to—_HAVE _to—_it _just—_TAKE!_

Another _plane_; just _two_—two _more_!

So _THIS_—I'll _try_—to _just_—ig_nore_!

But _OH!_—oh _NO!_—he _has_—a _KNIFE!_

He _can't_—he _CAN'T_—can't _take_—my _LIFE!_

I won't…I'm just…I'm just…so _tired_…

…_WHAT? _—a _SHOT? _—And _now _I'm _wired_!

One more plane—just _one more plane_!

'Cause I can _take_—can't _take_—the _pain_…

But what— What am I…_doing _here…?

I see my friend—my friend _appear_!

But what— What are you…_doing _here…?

…_Making _something? (A…a _TEAR!?_)

Yes, I…couldn't…make a _child_…

Other things, I… I _compiled_…

Even though his…goal was _such_…

And so we'd never…never _touch_…

It was enough, just at his _side_…

My feelings, I could…I could _hide_…

And he…he let me…let me _stay_…

He let me carry on that way…

He must have…must have…must have _known_…

But it was…never…never _shown_…

He didn't take…_advantage_ of me…

He let me…let me…let me _be_…

Stuff like…_THIS_…he'd never…_do_…

I'm not a…girl…and he…he _knew_...

He _knew _I'd…not've…_wanted_ this…

Or wanted even…just a _kiss_…

Because I _know_…I know I'm _not_…

I'm _not _a _girl_…but I…_forgot_…

When I'm with him, he makes me feel…

He makes me feel…that I'm…I'm _real_…

And though…I always…I wanted…his _child_…

I knew…I couldn't…I _knew_…I _smiled_…

But being _by_ him…_that _was _fine_…

I didn't want to…make him _mine_…

My life…I can't…transfer my _soul_…

To my…my _dragon_… Not…not _whole_…

It's…a _baby_? In…a _womb_?

That can…That can…be my _tomb_…

'Cause it's what…I have…always…_hoped_…

But is it…from…what I have…_coped_…?

Or is it…from…what I feel…_now_…?

The feeling…that…some _way_…some_how_…

I'm…all _bloody_… I'm…I'm _gone_…

Something…Something…Something's _wrong_…

I guess that it's…the _end_ for me…

At least I'll die…die _happily_…

I only have…just _one _regret…

I'll let you know… You know I'll let…

I never _said_… You never _knew_…

Those _simple _words…that "I lo—"

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**If this has made you cry, please let me know. I want to know if writing something based on something can have the same effect as the original, and I want to know if writing something with only words has the same effect as writing something with both words and images. Of course, I'm assuming that all of you have cried when you read the manga when I say that. Perhaps because _I _did... Anyway, let me know!**


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